


upstart crows

by amitye



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Discussion Of Past As Child Soldiers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Matthias Helvar Lives, Slice of Life, Theatre, Worldbuilding, and other overtly specific tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:16:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amitye/pseuds/amitye
Summary: Several years after Crooked Kingdom, Nina and Matthias have gotten married, become parents and done significant progress in their activism towards the acceptance of the Grisha in Fjerda. However, Matthias has been offered a somewhat unconventional mean of persuading his compatriots, and his wife is very excited to assist with his artistic efforts.
Relationships: Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	upstart crows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lynn_Forster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn_Forster/gifts).



Matthias came home long after the children were in bed, animated by a strange energy. He deposited a bag of miserably cold pastries in her lap and kissed her so abruptly he almost sent them both tumbling back with the chair. She playfully smacked his cheek.

“I take it the speech at the orphanage went well?” 

Matthias’s cheeks turned slightly pink at that, as he ran his hand apologetically through his hair. “Yes, huh, it was very good. I’m sorry I missed dinner, but some of the officials invited me out for beers afterwards, and I _really_ just wanted to come home, but I didn’t want to ruin my chances to ever do this again, and then, things got long. The ordeal paid off, though...”

Nina realized she was smiling ear to ear, thinking of how her arrogant, seventeen-year-old self would have been shocked at the sight of a Matthias that was flushed and smiling and looking so alive, dressed in ice-blue and forest-green with a pattern of leaves on his sash instead of the black and greys of the druskelle, and whose greatest manifestation of hostility towards his fellow human beings was being annoyed by drawn-out social occasions. 

She flicked away the report she was working on - nothing important, really; while Fjerda had patched relations well enough with their own Grisha population in the last years, they definitely didn’t have enough contact with Ravka itself for her “envoy” job to feel any more useful than playing with sad merchant’s hearts in her old little brothel room - and sat down sideways in Matthias’ lap. “Oh, you have exciting news, then? Why don’t you tell me all about it.”

Matthias kissed her fingertips as she lazily tickled his neck. “Very exciting! You see, when we were in the tavern I met the owner of the main Djerholm playhouse - he was there to audition little trolls for the play next Solstice - and we had a very interesting conversation.”

“You convinced him onstage kissing isn’t an act of public indecency?”

He grimaced. “He’s actually quite liberal. He just has very little trust in his public. You know - at the orphanage and in the city most children learn to read, but in the country a lot of families don’t bother. But everyone comes to see plays, at least in the important holidays, even the poorest families if they can make the trip. When I was a child I’d come here with my parents at the beginning of every season to watch the inaugural plays, and then we’d go walk in the city and buy blueberry pie and-”

“Critique the swordfighting, you mentioned.” She ruffled his hair. “Go on, I’m interested.”

“Yes, well, but argument is that because all children come to see the plays, then they have to be educational, it’s a kind of responsibility, is that clear?”

Nina leaned her cheek on her hand with a huff. “Very dull, but clear in that sense, I suppose. What of it?”

Matthias’s lips were curved up and he scratched his beard - by his standards, he might as well be bouncing all over the room. “Well, I was talking exactly about this with the owner, education, and how we could make better use of it than his predecessors did. And then he made me a proposal - not that kind, please don’t laugh. At solstice, after the traditional show, but before the acrobats and fireworks, so people won’t be tempted to leave the theatre, he will allow me to present a play to celebrate the cooperation of Fjerdans and Grisha.”

Nina jumped on her feet. “No way! Are you sure it’s really going to be in public, in front of everyone, and he won’t have it performed at some godawful hour when only the drunks from the night before are up.”

Matthias smiled and nuzzled his face in her neck. “I swear, love. It’s really going to happen. We’ve gotten so far.” 

NIna twirled and closed her eyes in bliss, imagining the faces of everyone in the auditorium. _This is serious, not spite_ she reminded herself. “Oh, Matthias, since when did you become so good at talking to people? This is huge. We’ll have to write to Wylan and Jesper at once.”

“To Kuwei too, he’ll be so thrilled, and Inej and even Kaz, I suppose, but don’t you want to wait until we have something to show for our work?”

She raised her eyebrow. “Well, yes, but I was thinking we could ask Wylan for some help finding a writer. He knows all these artistic types, and there will be some that’s not completely ignorant about Fjerdan culture, I guess.” She stopped, as Matthias was flushing violently. “Or… will the theatre owner give you a playwright especially for this? I didn’t think about it. I mean, are there even playwrights in Fjerda anymore? From what you tell me it’s always the same five old ballads, though admittedly the scenery gets creative-”

“Well, the Komedie Brute isn’t much more intellectual.” Matthias stuck out his tongue at her, putting his hand on her hip. “And…” he hesitated, tracing shy circles on her bare shoulder. “Really, this was a commission made to me. I think I should write it.”

Nina blinked, then flopped down laughing over the table, fingers curling at her temples as she merrily croaked her heart out.

“I can write, in fact, you know?” Matthias crossed his arms withdrawing disappointingly from her. “And you said yourself I’ve learned to talk to people, that should translate to writing. And of course, the firsthand experience-”

“Oh, there’s going to be firsthand experience? _Our,_ firsthand experience?” She smirked. “How much can we get with, onstage, if it’s just shapes twisting under furs?”

Matthias smacked his palm on her forehead when she leaned on him sultrily. “Not _that_ kind of experience. I’ve actually thought - I had some proper ideas on the way here. For the story, not the fornication, if you care to hear them and I am not just a fair piece of muscle to you.”

He spoke with the ice-stern joking tone that had become so familiar to them, but Nina still held out her arms to embrace him and soothingly pet his cheek. “I? Never. Tell me all about your ideas, fair prince, so we can work on it together as husband and wife. Is it about us at all, even with the much-beloved fornication cruelly cut out?”

Matthias grimaced. “Well… not much, actually.”

Nina pouted. “So new to the arts, and already I’m disappointing you as a muse?”

Matthias looked so mortified she immediately regretted it. He was much better at speaking stern joking than comprehending it. “No, it’s just… the owner did give me some rules about what it should be about. I think there will be a Grisha heroine and a Fjerdan boy, actually, but she would have to be more… ah, more to the Fjerdan taste of morality to be able to be a heroine. She should have a modest and maidenly occupation, like a healer, or a teacher, not, ah, a fighter or… of loose sexual morals. The audience would never sit through the play.”

Nina sniffed. “I understand. I suppose I will have to have to cut out those loose sexual morals as well.” She drew the shawl closer around her low neckline, and Matthias regaled her with a wonderful unimpressed look. 

“And she’d be a Materialka, too, so maybe not a healer. She might have a school to teach poor Fjerdan Grisha children who are rejected by their parents - it would be more interesting for the children this way. And Materialki are less intimidating than Corporalki and Etherealki.”

“Oh, I’m just dying to hear you tell Jesper that.” The day Jesper had become confident enough to exchange questionable humor with her about their powers as they did with everything else, every bird in Kerch had sung and hot chocolate started flowing in the springs. 

“Listen, I tried to ask to make things a bit more accurate, but I have so many restrictions. You know one of the conditions was that the villain has to be a Grisha too?”

Nina rolled her eyes. “Groundbreaking.”

“I was thinking that, if this girl is a schoolteacher, this villain could be an extremist who is threatening her children. Well - her students. He thinks Fjerdan children don’t deserve to learn to use their powers, after the things their parents have done, and he tries to attack the school, and only our brave Fjerdan hero who has learned the value of cooperation can save it.”

Nina was barely holding it in. “Oh, that’s sensible. Yes, definitely a common position held by the Grisha, who wouldn’t find it made up at all.”

Matthias sighed, lowering his eyes a little in shame in a way that made her immediately feel bad, which the bastard knew very well. “I’m doing what I can, love.”

“I see, I see. And is the lad still a druskelle?”

“No, I can’t do that either. Apparently the druskelle would be offended to see one of their own stray from his path, and I’m _categorically _forbidden from offending the druskelle.”__

__Nina snorted. “I doubt you can offend them any more than you did in real life. What business do they have against Grisha now anyway? I thought the agreement was they were going to be a special force in case there’s another war and that’s it.” She actually much doubted even someone so thick-headed as the Fjerdans would be so foolish to try anything against Ravka again for quite a while, but whatever was needed to stroke that old bitch Jarl Brum’s ego and keep him inoffensive._ _

__Matthias shrugged. “You know they’ll never be happy with just that. I petition to disband them as often as I can, but for now all I can do is keep as many misguided children as I can from their grasp, talk to them and give them other paths, and they might not let me try anymore if I raise too much hell about it.”_ _

__His lips were pressed in a thin line. Nina strokes his temples, landing a soft kiss between his eyebrows. “Don’t think of that.”_ _

__“How? I’m the only one in this wretched country who ever thinks of that, it seems.”_ _

__“Still, you can’t well atone for centuries of blood all on the guilt of your one unfortunate mission. All you can do is fight it, and do your best.”_ _

__She stroked his cheek and he nuzzled into her palm, kissing her hand. “I know, but I’ve always… I supposed I could fight a bit more effectively than speeches and fruitless politicking. This feels like it will never be fully over.”_ _

__She swallowed. “I know. It’s funny to get used to it, isn’t it? They always told us we could just charge and fight anything in our way, because isn’t it very useful to have a bunch of children ready to kill and die at the slightest provocation? But that’s not how everything can be solved. Aenya is already showing powers. Can you imagine letting her and Klaus be raised like that?”_ _

__She felt his fist tighten with rage, the way so long ago she might have felt his familiar heartbeat hitch and rush. She embraced her husband, trying not to think of the visions of dread that flashed before her eyes every time she kissed her babies goodnight. At six and two, they seemed far too gentle and sweet for her to think the druskelle’s harsh ideas could ever take hold of them, even knowing that Matthias had once himself been that sweet child climbing up on his father’s shoulder to watch the play. But she knew that the Little Palace had subtler, gentler methods._ _

__“Good.” She said. “Then I fear we’re going to have to work on this as tired, cynical adults and not trigger-happy teenagers. Hence, what are we doing with our tragic hero?”_ _

__Matthias’ lips quirked up for a second, but his voice came out utterly deadpan. “Arrogant young hunter strayed too far from his village to prove himself, got mauled by a bear, saved by plucky baby Corporalki and brought to the school so our Grisha heroine can oversee to nursing him back to health.”_ _

__Nina whistled. “You’re good! How come you’re good?”_ _

__He shrugged sheepishly. “I played with some ideas on the way here.”_ _

__The slightly embarrassed, excited look on his face went to her head like hot honeyed wine and she kissed, parting the embroidered lapel of his doublet a little. “I knew you’d be good, but let’s not hack too much at that block you have for a head for now. Let’s go to bed.”_ _

__She took her hand and he followed her like the whole world bowed to kiss her feet._ _

__A good, sweaty while later, when Nina was about to drift off to sleep, she felt Matthias stroke her back, muttering softly. “I forgot to ask how your day was.”  
Nina pinned herself up on her elbow, rolling her eyes. “You’ve more than made up for it, and it was definitely less exciting than both your day and _our night.”__ _

__She perceived - she could do that still out of sheer tactile memory - his cheek growing slightly flushed and a soft chuckle rising from the darkness. “Well, I do have the ambition of being the husband you deserve.” His lips brushed against her neck, and she purred softly, taking in his warmth._ _

__“It was just boring. You know damn well we aren’t having any dealings with Ravka at such high stakes to require an accomplished translator such as I am. I feel like I’ve been doing uninterrupted paperwork for years.”_ _

__Matthias hummed. “You’re sure you’re okay? You aren’t letting yourself get too overwhelmed and frustrated, are you? You’re using your powers daily?”_ _

__She shrugged. “I do, but it’s almost like… it _feels_ that it’s being just wasted with no real use. And it will get too cold to wander in the woods to raise corpses and then put them back soon.” She bit her lip. “I can’t do it in the house. I tried once with a mouse, but Klaus was terrified of it. It did work, though. We’re less different from animals when we’re dead.”_ _

__She felt Matthias’ hand brush tenderly across her face, searching for tears. “He’s just a baby, love, he doesn’t understand. He would cry just as much if Jesper came here and melted down our door handles to make him a toy knight. It doesn’t mean anything.”_ _

__She shook her head, angry at herself for allowing this discussion to start. “Grisha babies are fascinated by displays of power. It’s the first sign to look for in a baby too young to display any of its own. It’s just something too different to comprehend.” _I certainly don’t expect_ you _to comprehend,_ the bitterness at the back of her tongue helpfully supplied. She gritted her teeth. She knew most of her thoughts on this matter were too cruel and confused for expression, and those about Matthias came from the darkest place within her, because every other part of her was illuminated by love, but the instinct seemingly couldn’t be shaken away._ _

__Nina had been raised with very little faith, as the theories of the miracles of the Sankts being nothing more than particularly advanced Grisha magic took hold in the Little Palace and the young students were encouraged to believe in nothing mightier than their own powers.  
However, in all her travels and many, many tipsy rambling conversations exchanged with Inej under Ketterdam’s pale moon, she had started to believe that, even if the Sankts themselves were overrated, there had to be some higher power, a creator of the world or at least a benevolent life force that had seen fit to endow her people with such powers in the first place. _ _

__She had never been particularly prone to thinking and introspection and didn’t see the point of seeking any deeper insight in her beliefs, but they were absolutely genuine. After all she, a little foundling from the marketplace, had been gifted the skill to control the unique beauty of human faces (however unreliably), the delicate mystery of human bodies (however imperfectly), and most of all, with such skill that sometimes made her weep with pride, the priceless treasure of human hearts! Why should she not be confident, joyful and grateful?_ _

__But things were different now. Nina knew the intricacies of parem's side effects had not yet been fully studied and there was likely a perfectly rational explanation, but the thought still came back to haunt her sometimes: she had given her priceless human heart to an aspiring Grisha-murderer, betrayed her motherland and spit on the souls of her fallen siblings, and the same force that had blessed her had taken the power of life back from her, leaving only ashes in its wake._ _

__“Nina…” Matthias’ hand gently followed the curve of her hip, his thumb spinning into slow, soothing circles. She gripped the sheet, blinking back tears. “Honey, I thought you had grown to love it, or feel more comfortable with it, at least.”_ _

__“I felt comfortable when we were in Ketterdam, and always on the verge of having someone to murder. But it’s hard to accept… to adjust to the fact I am to be always useless until there is a war going on.”_ _

__Matthias was quiet for a while, idly playing with her hair. “Is there no use of your powers you could set up a small shop for, the way you did in Ketterdam? You have yet to discover all the functions of it. It might be something small, but anything that could…”_ _

__“Bring a smile on people’s faces.” She cut him off, the corner of her mouth lifting up. “Bring people peace. That’s what I used to do at the brothel, but the one thing I can think of now… it would take a lot more than just manipulating the flesh, and I don’t know if I can ever reach that.”_ _

__“What do you mean?”_ _

__“If I ever get good enough, I might find a way to call souls, too, for a few moments. Just to let people say goodbye.”_ _

__She felt Matthias sign on her neck. “I don’t know if people would want that much, here in Fjerda. We’re used to thinking about death… differently, I suppose. We just reunite with the Earth and flow back into it like water. A face and a voice do not mean so much.”_ _

__Nina bit her lip. “And you? Would you not like it? If you could speak to your parents again…?”_ _

__He hesitated. “What for? I brought too much shame on them. Even if this was a few moment’s matter, just in time to say goodbye and show them my children and have them tell me how much they love me, it would still be lying.”_ _

__Nina turned around, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. “Every mistake you made was because you love them.”_ _

__“I suppose.” His voice sounded hollow. “But if we want to call it love, it must be a love that faded quick enough, if I’m here with you now. It’s doomed either way you look at it, it always is.”_ _

__“Matthias…”_ _

__“I love you. No one has ever made me happier than you. But it’s strange, to think we’re always going to be stuck together in the middle like this, both far from home. Both looked at so badly-”_ _

__She swallowed, uncomfortable with the way his word pricked her most shameful fears. “Think of it in the long term - a few years are nothing. Our fight has just begun. We will win it, and then Fjerda will be a real home for both of us, and we won’t feel so guilty anymore.”_ _

__Matthias kissed her temple. “I hope so, love. But I don’t begrudge being stuck in the middle with you. It feels like destiny. Like we’re made for each other, like we’re the only people who could ever do the things we’ve done, who could be together.” He hesitated. “I definitely think you’re the only person who could find it in herself to love me, and it has to be destiny that made us find each other, and understand each other like this, when otherwise you would have every reason to be the last person to love me.”_ _

__She stroked his cheek, feeling the warmth of her embarrassment. Matthias had never quite gotten any better at romanticism, and seemed to have only somehow gotten worse at loving himself, despite all outward evidence of the contrary. She had too, but, to be fair, she had started out so good at it that it could hardly get better. “You know, Inej told me there’s a Suli legend that says every time you do something bad, your shadow grows bigger and stronger, until someday it just comes to take your place. Maybe we’re just each other’s shadows. We both needed to do our share of terrible things so we could grow until we met.”_ _

__Matthias considered it, the soft sound of his breath filling the space between them for a moment. “I think I might like that more than destiny. It almost makes me feel like I might ever deserve you.”_ _

__She elbowed him in the ribs before she fell asleep in his arms, like every night in years and every night in the future to come._ _

__***_ _

__Nina awoke to the furious, joyful sounds of Aenya sparring in the garden against invisible enemies. She wrapped her old, fraying kefta around her shoulder and blew a kiss at her before coming down the stairwell._ _

__Matthias was sitting at the fireplace, stirring honey and milk into a bowl of soft mush, Klaus sleeping over his shoulder. Nina picked him up - how very tiny and delicate he looked against his father’s chest - and peeked into the bowl._ _

__“These pastries are nasy. I’m trying to make them into waffle batter.”_ _

__Tentatively, he opened the waffle iron and released a sticky, misshapen and slightly raspberry-dotted cake in her hand. She licked the honey off the edge, shifting Klaus down in her lap so she didn’t dribble it on his face. “Serviceable,” she conceded._ _

__Matthias bent down and licked the honey from her lips, and she threw her head back laughing. “Right in front of the children, huh? This is not how the honorable Jarl Brum raised you.”_ _

__In daylight, the mention of that name only made him smile. “I’m sorry, love. But I’ve been writing some romantic monologues and it’s put me in the mood.”_ _

__“Oh, indeed? That won’t do. I want to be part of your process.”_ _

__Matthias flushed. “I’ll read it to you if you want. But Djel, it brought me back to… places. I’m not sure you want to hear it.”_ _

__She licked her lips, setting down in front of him, eyes fixed into his own. “Oh, I want to hear it so bad. All the details of your eighteen-year-old romantic anguish.”_ _

__He threw a sideways glance at her and cleared his throat before reading. “Annika sits on the porch. Daan spies on her from the bushes.”_ _

__She snorted. “Already a strong romantic beginning. Why have you already written stage directions, when you have,” she checked “half a page of writing?”_ _

__“It’s good to be disciplined and organized. You might try it sometimes.”_ _

__“Sure thing.”_ _

__He rolled his eyes and went on reading. “Oh, there she is! Fair at the dawn is she  
but mysterious as the silver moon her secrets lie.  
Oh Djel, has this drusje truly saved my life  
or do her bewitching charms deceive my senses?”_ _

__“Ah, the famous bewitching charms of the Fabrikator. Never heard of that before, but it would explain poor Wylan, I suppose.”_ _

__Matthias squinted at her. “It’s a play, Nina. It isn’t supposed to be accurate.”_ _

__She shrugged, and he went on. “Or is it you who tested me, Lord Almighty  
to punish me for my wretched arrogance?  
See, now she sits to weave upon her loom  
straight as a fir is she  
her hair are gold, her eyes are dew  
her fingers touch the thread so sweetly and lightly  
as any modest Fjerdan maiden would  
or a Fjerdan mother, sewing for her children  
a woman’s gentle heart as pure as any  
yet her work is not the same, deceiving mask  
from her rose-fingers flows unnatural energy.”_ _

__He looked at Nina, looking distinctly like a soaked baby fox. “It’s a play, Nina. It’s supposed to be a little over the top.”_ _

__She broke out laughing - decidedly not like a modest Fjerdan maiden, but enough like a Fjerdan barnacle goose. “Since when is weaving so sexy?”_ _

__“It’s just Fjerda’s idea of femininity, Nina. It’s meant to be that… Daan is realizing this Grisha girl is just a woman, no different than Fjerdan ones, and a human being.”_ _

__“I can buy a loom, if that’s just so attractive. Probably learn to knit too. Might be the only way I get clothes I don’t want to set on fire here anyway, so why not?”_ _

__She gasped when he interrupted her with a kiss, but couldn’t blame him. “After this thing you forced me to read, I hope you’re letting me play this poor girl, and that there’s going to be some proper action.”_ _

__He snorted. “I don’t know how well we can pass for eighteen-year-olds still, honey. Moreover, there will be no action at all to speak of. I decided it’s going to turn out that they’re brother and sister.”_ _

__Nina blinked. “What?”_ _

__Matthias scratched his neck, embarrassed. “See, it’s very common in romantic tragedies, here. It gets around the kissing rule nice without preventing some melodramatic romantic monologues, and it makes for good starcrossed love.”_ _

__“No, it doesn’t! Sankts help me.” Nina buried her face in her hands._ _

__“Well, it does make for a good metaphor here. In the end, Fjerdan boy and Grisha girl learn they came from the same mother’s womb, before being separated in a… tragic circumstance I’ll have to come up with. Just as we’re all children of the same Earth, how we are all human beings with hearts and souls, and only a tragic mistake led us to hate one another.”_ _

__Nina gripped the table harder to not roll over laughing under it. “Wait… so… when we dressed up in Little Ravka you were actually getting all hot and bothered about it? My, and I who thought you were uncomfortable and in much need of my gentle, feminine reassurance.”_ _

__Matthias scowled. “It’s a metaphor, Nina, you know? Just because it happens in plays it doesn’t mean people enjoy it in real life, and I am actually trying to say something very serious here-”_ _

__Before she could finish, she jumped on his lap, kissing him so ardently he didn’t even pull away when the chair yielded and they both fell crashing on the floor._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to my sweet Lynn_Forster! The names for Nina and Matthias' children come from her beautiful fics, although the (pretty idealistic) specific situation they are currently in is my own. I advise you to go check out her wonderful, detailed and original future!fics at once!
> 
> The title is based on an insult Robert Greene used about Shakespeare, and I'm ashamed to say i could not resist the pun.


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